Little Bitch

I just got back from seeing my surgeon and even getting a fill. He added .5 mm. He was concerned how I told him that from the last time I got a fill (3 months ago) that the first week was perfect, then I got sick with the flu. I threw up for 3 days and then the restriction changed. His eyes perked up with concern from this. He mentioned the slight chance there could be some erosion. 


He proceeded with the fill. When I first had received fills they were difficult for him to hit the silicon entry point. I could feel him hitting the hard plastic portion of the port. As time went on and I was better healed it became easier for him. Well today, no such luck. I became a pin cushion once again. He fiddled around for 15-20 minutes just trying to hit the silicon area. He thinks as it has healed and formed to my muscle tissue that it is at a slight angle downward. I kept joking with him... as I am sweating and clammy from the nerves of him poking me... that what a pain in the ass it must be for him and that we should call my band "Little Bitch". He was definitely agreeing to this from day one.


I am to call back in 2 weeks to check in and tell him how I am feeling about my restriction. If there isn't any change in the right direction he will have me do my next fill under the Xray again and check for band erosion with drinking contrast dye. Did I mention I am allergic to that stuff? 


RED FLAG... What is Band Erosion?


Lap-Band erosion is migration of the band through the stomach wall into the stomach. This complication occurs in less than 2% of patients when surgeons use present day technique (pars flacida technique). It was significantly more common early on when the band was placed tightly against the stomach (peri-gastric technique).

Presentation. When the band erodes into the stomach, bacteria from the stomach enter into the capsule that mutually forms around the band. The infection then travels along the tubing into the pocket around the subcutaneous port. Thus many patients who develop erosion first notice pain, redness, and swelling in the vicinity of the access port. Another way that band migration presents is with loss of the band's restrictive effect. When the band erodes well into the stomach, food can bypass around the band. The patient can eat much more than before.

Diagnosis. Band erosion is best diagnosed with upper GI endoscopy. The endoscopist can actually see the band as it penetrates the stomach wall. IAn eroded band can also occasionally be identified on CT scan.

Treatment. Lap band erosion is usually not an emergency. If the access port site is infected, the port must be removed promptly. The band can then be removed semi- electively. Removal of an eroded band can be a difficult procedure requiring an open approach. Most surgeons simply remove the band and then perform rebanding, a gastric bypass, or duodenal switch as second procedure. Some surgeons have had success removing the band and performing a simultaneous rebanding or gastric bypass.

1 YEAR 6 MONTHS progress photo

Since I didn't have this until today, here is a the follow up from my post yesterday.

And I also started my No Carb today. Day 1. Last night I made egg and spinach minis for breakfast and heart shaped turkey burger patties for lunch. I made enough of each to get me thru the remaining week.

Today I have my doctors appointment..... I am gonna show him this....

1 YEAR 6 MONTHS

Today marks my 1 and a half year mark!

I would love to say that I am happy at where I am at from what I used to weigh but yet, I am definitely not happy about not loosing much since 3 months ago. In fact, I am up to 203lbs today. I am in shock. I am sad. I am very mad at myself. I know that scale number is well... just a number...and it should have no effect on me and my mind set... but it does.
It haunts me.
It changes how I face my day.
It gets me down and I make bad choices.
I even can get snippy to those who don't deserve it.

If you would of told me 3 - 6 months ago I would be at the same weight I would of given you the stink eye. It is amazing how hard I worked to get to 197, and how little effort I needed to make to get back to 203. I have worked hard on being active. Making it count at the gym. But on the other hand, I have not made as much effort with eating right. I did my no carb diet for 3 weeks. It made me feel like I was back on track. I felt more energy thru my day. I felt like I was toning up. Then 1 week after starting my no carb diet, I got my BodyMedia Fit arm band to help keep me even more accountable. I love the damn thing. It is great. It doesn't lie.

I guess I have gone thru some ups and downs in my years of battling my weight. It is not easy. Being banded is not easy. It is hard to keep up with being 100 percent conscious of what you eat, how you eat, how slow you have to eat, it encompasses a lot of your life. I don't regret being banded. I would never want to give it back. It is who I am. I have gone on some pretty insane diets in the past, but being banded is no diet. It is a life. This is the first time ever that I have been able to keep off weight for over 1 year. I would usually loose some and gain it all back, plus 10. It was a viscous cycle. Being banded has helped me break that pattern. It still freaks me out that I do have something foreign in my body tied around my tummy. That I actually did get surgery.

I am living in this grey area on what I know I should be eating, and what I am eating. I am very nervous about going to my surgeon this week for my check up. I am not sure he will give me a fill. I don't know what to tell him. I have to be honest. I am going to confess my bad food choices. I am also going to tell him how I don't feel as restricted as I did the first week he filled me last time. It is like telling your parents you did something bad and you know they are going to punish you. Granted I know my doctor wont do this but I know what he will tell me. It is a nervous feeling since I haven't been the perfect bandster. It is going to be a clean slate. A day to refresh my mind and body.

I know I need to change what I am doing. It isn't working. I felt that the no carb diet really got me back into feeling good, eating right, taking my vitamins, and drinking lots of water. It was successful for me. I want to return to doing no carbs. That means no more crap food, sweets, fruits.... sugar sugar sugar... I did great without it, then got hooked to eating it again. My body was acting like a sugar addict. Every second I thought about what super sugary foods I could eat. It was bad, a very dark place. It needs to be my past and something I have to learn from. I need to move forward onto eating right.

There is a new billboard on the way home from work. It is a Lapband 1-800-GET THIN Ad. It is a lady eating a bowl of fruit with a light and sweet smile on her face. It is a SIGN for me!

Eating right, working out, taking vitamins, drinking water... are all simple steps I HAVE to do to keep me on track. I am going to get back into the no carb diet for real this time. I am going to open that Atkins book and the 4 Hour Body... re read - re charge.... so then when I blog about 1 year 9 months I will have something grand to say.

Weight for today: 203

They Haunt Me!

I put off posting for a few days since I couldn't bring myself to post something that wasn't a happy and positive entry. But dammit girls, I am on a bandwagon of junk, junk and more junk food.

Granted ups and downs are a part of life - But why is it my eating pattern is just f'ed up right now?

I was really great with 3 weeks of No-Carb, I went down a  few pounds... then went out of town for 5 days - ate like crap and enjoyed it - but since then I have continued to make horrible food choices. And I mean horrible... like a Oreo shake that is over 900 calories for a SMALL size! Not sure if it had anything to do with my period or maybe my stressful life... what ever it is I have to get out of this funk. It is causing me to gain a few pounds and put me back up to 200 for the last 2 weeks. I tract all of my foods so I know 100 percent of crap I have put in my mouth - But yet, Does that stop me!?!

I am lacking my mo-jo, my drive, my passion... I am loosing my steam. I have just been so down about the scale not moving. I try to blog that I have to focus on the positives but inside I feel so mad at myself for not focusing. I need to guide myself right back into the driver's seat. No more bad habits, no more junk food stops right after working out or being lazy to cook. These are the OLD ME habits. I thought I got rid of them. But yet THEY HAUNT ME. I dream and crave sweets. I think of hamburgers and french fries. I think of what toppings to put on ice cream. Things that I may not always follow thru on doing.. but these are thoughts that I don't want to have.

I increased my water, I increased my cardio... what I am missing that is re-directing my path... vitamins maybe? I haven't taken my daily vitamins in over a month. Could be it. But not sure. I know I shouldn't buy this crap food, carbs galore or sweet tooth treats... I get into a fog and just do it. I know it is wrong. But yet I do it. Like I am in a trance.... Must come up for air...

Goal for this week: ???

Weight for Today: 200.6

Mark My Word!

It has almost been a month that I have been using my BodyMedia Fit armband. I do love it, I do recommend it... but I haven't lost one freaking pound since I have started. This of course if VERY frustrating but I know why. I am eating like I don't care as much as I should. I am eating in that grey area of  'only this once' mentality. I am just choosing the wrong foods. I track all of my foods so I know I am just not eating right. Last week I wanted to go back to my 6 days on - 1 day off No carb diet. Did I do it? Nope. Why? I have no clue. But I am here today, yet another Monday still lingering way to close to 200's. Maybe even 200 today since I haven't weighted myself since last week. I need to change. I need to get my mind around eating right and just do it!

So even though my eating habits have sucked the last few weeks. The BodyMedia Fit band does show you how your heart rate levels are. It places it into low, moderate, and vigorous. This is one thing I have done right since I started wearing the armband. I am making note of how much my little tracker says 'vigorous' on it's bar charts at the end of the day. I have been pushing myself harder, making myself run faster in intervals, using the stair stepper, riding my bike on the weekend. I feel great about this change. Even if I didn't wear my arm band every moment of the day - I would continue to use it at the gym just to keep up with my output levels. It is so much better than trying to track your calories burned on a generic treadmill. That isn't ever right anyhow.

I am coming up on my 1 and a half year mark in a couple of weeks. This is so scary to me since even though I have improved in so many areas... I still weight what I did over 6 -8 months ago. It is very disappointing actually.  I should be further along than I am. I have 13 more days till this mark in my life. I will post photos so I can see for myself if there are any changes.

Today is a new day and I have to make it count!

Goal for this week:  No carbs and continue with increased water!

Weight for today: 200.2 :(

Make It Count!

Things I have realized since I have started to use my BodyMedia Fit arm band:

1. If I drink 2 full bottles of water I will reach the suggested water intake of 8 glasses of water a day.
   That isn't that bad.
   
2. Drinking from a straw really does help!
   No joke - Try it!
   
3. I eat way to many carbs, sodium, and fats.
   Damn pie charts showing me the truth!
   
4. The days I work out I am 'on a weight loss trend' according to the BodyMedia footnotes.
   This is great!
   
5. The days I do not work out I am 'on a weight gain trend' according to the BodyMedia footnotes.
   I guess I need to do something everyday to balance out what I am eating and not burning off.
   
6. I love seeing the calories burned bar charts. It shows you what level of fitness and how much you push yourself.
   Umph My Spin class is only a moderate level when it is that suck ass instructor I go to. When I jogged outside it was vigorous levels!?!
   
7. I really need to limit my Starbucks drinks to nothing!
   If I have one it makes me want more the rest of the week.
   
8. I have to stick to a completely NO carb diet. I feel better. I see results.
   I gotta get back on track to 6 days on and 1 day off. It was great.
   
9. I love making lists!
   From to-do's, grocery lists, taking notes, you name it - I have a list for it!

So... what I need to do with logging my foods and exercise on the BodyFit media arm band, I also need to keep up with my increased water intake, Go back to The 4 Hour Body diet of 6 days on and 1 day off, and be active everyday and MAKE IT COUNT! Time to stop talking about it and just do the dang thing!

Goal for this week: Stick my money where my mouth is!

Weight for today: 199.6 lbs.

Junk Food Mania

Back from vacation and relaxed and recharged. I think I ate my way thru it too. I had protein shakes, water, beef jerky and a banana all packed up for my road trip. I snacked on some of it but mainly I stopped to eat along the way. To and from. I would list all that I ate but I will keep that secret since it is so bad.
Lets give you some examples.... In-N-Out, Taco Bell, Cinnabun, Jack In The Box .... It makes my stomach churn in self disgust! 

You should be proud of me since I did log everyday into my food log. Even the bad stuff. It is such a great tool that it showed me that I gained like 2 pounds in 5 days! I just fell back into an old pattern. I don't know why I do that to myself. Maybe it is the comfort for traveling. But there has to be a reason why? Maybe since I was traveling that no one else by me would know what I ate... not too sure. It is very self destructive behavior.

On that note... I am back into recovery mode and working out. (Sigh) Back to eating no carbs for 6 days and then 1 free day. I feel that this is a great way to keep going. I dont have to think about it - it is becoming more natural.

One thing that I am really going to start making more of an effort to do is to drink more water. I am lacking in energy and need to get my body back on track. Flush the body of the junk food! I am thinking of buying a water bottle that has a straw.

Does anyone feel that drinking from a straw makes you drink more water thru the day?


Goal for this week: Buy a cool water bottle - Drink 10x's more water!

Weight for today: I bow my head in shame but my scale did read 200.2 this morning. Eak!

How far is 8,000 steps?

Steps to Miles Conversion Chart
Approximate      
          
Steps  Minutes  Miles  
500  =  5  = 1/4 mile
1000  =  10  = 1/2 mile
1500  =  15  = 3/4 mile
2000  =  20  = 1 mile
2500  =  25  = 1 1/4 miles
3000  =  1/2 hour   = 1 1/2 miles
3500  =  35  = 1 3/4 miles
4000  =  40  = 2 miles
4500  =  45  = 2 1/4 miles
5000  =  50  = 2 1/2 miles
5500  =  55  = 2 3/4 miles
6000  =  1 hour  = 3 miles
6500  =  65  = 3 1/4 miles
7000  =  70  = 3 1/2 miles
7500  =  75  = 3 3/4 miles
8000  =  80  = 4 miles 
8500  =  85  = 4 1/4 miles
9000  =  1 ½ hours  = 4 1/2 miles
9500  =  95  = 4 3/4 miles
10000  =  1 hr 40 min  = 5 miles

BodyMedia first few days....

First things first... 

Here is a funny photo of me trying on my boyfriend's MEDIUM jacket... 

and the sigh of relief it REALLY fit!

I am loving my BodyMedia arm band. I started to wear it Thursday and it has been exciting to see the results today when I plugged it in. I figured doing the first week without any changes in my behavior or diet would give me a good solid record to learn from and move forward making changes afterwards. Main Result: I eat way to much on the weekends!

Here is a sample from this past weekend. I am logging anything and everything. I am even taking note of the amount of water I drink. There should be a check box or something to keep track of this but I am just adding it in the time of day even though it gives me no calorie changes. More for my own personal records. You can even see how lazy I was Saturday and Sunday!

This week I am going to start making some changes and stick to the calorie limit. I think this will be hard since I am going on a vacation for 5 days. I am gonna track the whole time even it isn't the best foods.

I also haven't updated the weight since I had not weighted in yet. But I did weight 198.6 on Thursday. I doubt I lost any and with menstruation time... you know how that goes.

I highly recommend this product to anyone who needs to have more guidance. I can see this being a great tool to learn from and get serious about loosing some LBS!

Goal for this week: Don't go crazy on eating out while on vacation

Weight for today:

Seeing Results

Follow up on The 4hour body Slow Carb diet:
It is becoming easier to stick to the no-carbs than I thought. I like having the free day once a week. It makes me feel like I am not suffering or suppressing any major cravings. Granted I do give into having soy milk and my morning Chai or Mocha. If I don't have one in the morning it isn't life or death now. I am realizing this. Sounds kind of lame but stopping a daily habit is hard to break. Especially one that tastes so good on a cold morning.

Since my first PB last week, I am also eating slower. Thinking about the texture and if I really need to eat it. Doing this No-Carb plan is really helping me regain control. Making me think about what I am eating. PLUS I am seeing major results. My thighs, arms, chest and tummy are getting smaller. I see the results in less than 2 weeks! It is much easier to keep doing this when you see the difference.

I checked the ship date on my BodyMedia arm band and it states it should arrive by Thursday. I am very excited to get to using it. I am very curious to see what the difference is on my calories burned and logging my food thru this program versus the generic Tap&Track I log thru now. Sometimes I feel that the calories aren't accurate to my eating and cardio. I plan to get every penny worth of this Bodymedia band. Making it a good habit!

Goal for this week: Argh, I suck at taking my vitamins! I have to be better at this!

Weight for today: 197