1. Stomach aches from eating bad foods
2. Shopping only at Torrid
3. High blood pressure medicine and monitoring it
4. My triple chin
5. Stretching out my t-shirts before putting them on
6. Thinking about my next meal before I finished the one in front of me
7. Weekly caffeine withdrawal migraines
8. The amount of money I spent eating out Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
9. Heavy breathing just walking
10. Tummy extending out past my boobs
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
6 MONTHS
I have officially made it to my 6 month bandiversary date! Granted I didn't loose any weight this past week but that is okay for now. I am just so happy that I have come this far and I don't think I would of been able to keep it up for this long if I wasn't banded. Hooray Me!
What has got me thru to today?
1. FASHIONABLE WATER BOTTLES - for the gym, protein waters, water helps the skins elasticity
2. BLENDER BALL - I use it everyday to mix my protein shake mix + benifiber + soy milk. The blender ball works great for on the go, Early morning rush to work and traveling. It makes my life a little bit simpler.
3. THE SCALE - Knowing I have to weigh myself no matter what each week has been the simplest but difficult part of this process. It can be a great day that makes me skip thru the week or it makes me get down on myself for a few days. It is more mental than anything.
4. THIS BLOG OF COURSE! - I have followers who read my posts makes me realize that I have to be honest with what I am going thru and what the good & bad of everyday is like. I can't lie. I have to be honest just like everyone elses blog. Posting a goal & my weight for each Monday post makes me consistent so when I read back months from now I will really see how far I have come!
Goal for this week: Proteins first! No bread!
Weight for today: 204
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Three Biggies
Thanks for the comments about how I was feeling last week. I was pretty irritated with how when I compare myself to the progress and time frames of others. This week I have to think of a new start. I explained my frustrations to my surgeon and he added 1cc more to the band. I now have a total of 9cc's. To me that seems like a lot but I truly don't have a ton of restriction. Granted I can't eat like what I did prior, but I can sure eat a lot and not feel full. I am trying to remind myself about eating slower, chewing completely and always eating a protein. Fingers crossed that with the additional cc added today I will be on a new path. (the downward path!)
Three big things happened last week. I did my second spin class. I did one the week prior and blogged about it. But I also mentioned I took the beginner class. Well last week I took the male instructors' class. He blasts the music really loud and he raises his voice like a drill instructor. Yea, I took that class! Even though he is yelling, he is pushing you and motivating you to push more each time. I kept up with the rest of the class. I was so proud of myself. I felt good once I was done. This was on Tuesday.
Then Thursday's gym date I went to the yoga class. I finally went to the class. All that crap about me saying I would keep going... I never went until last week. Granted it isn't as straining as the spin class... but damn after wards I felt so sore.. and for a few days. I know I am not as flexible as I once was but if I keep up with it I will be like Gumby one day.
This past Saturday my boyfriend and I met up with my friend and her husband. Instead of going out to eat like we normally do, we went for a hike along the beach and on this hill that we have titled THE BOOTY BUSTER HILL! Just imagine a steep paved road going up hill for almost a half a mile. Once you reach the top there are trails you can take. The area is called Torrey Pines State Beach. We chose the trail that lead us along the hillside and down to the beach. The point of the story is that my boyfriend and I used to walk this hill a lot last year. I would always have certain spots I needed to stop at to catch my breath. Before we met up with my friends he asked me if I would be able to do this hill since we had not done it in a while. He wasn't completely doubting me but I think he didn't want me to embarrass myself in front of my friends if I had to stop. They are runners and pretty fit. I just blew off what he said b/c I knew I could physically do it now. So not only did I pass the first stopping point... I PASSED THEM ALL! Take that stupid hill! I am in so much greater of shape and doing cardio more has totally paid off. Everyone told me how amazed they were that I could keep up. It made me feel pretty damn good.
Here is a photo of us at the top of the hill!
Goals for this week: Think thin thoughts
Weight for today: 204 (Next Monday is my 6 month bandiversary. I hope to NOT be 204 then. Grrr....)
Three big things happened last week. I did my second spin class. I did one the week prior and blogged about it. But I also mentioned I took the beginner class. Well last week I took the male instructors' class. He blasts the music really loud and he raises his voice like a drill instructor. Yea, I took that class! Even though he is yelling, he is pushing you and motivating you to push more each time. I kept up with the rest of the class. I was so proud of myself. I felt good once I was done. This was on Tuesday.
Then Thursday's gym date I went to the yoga class. I finally went to the class. All that crap about me saying I would keep going... I never went until last week. Granted it isn't as straining as the spin class... but damn after wards I felt so sore.. and for a few days. I know I am not as flexible as I once was but if I keep up with it I will be like Gumby one day.
This past Saturday my boyfriend and I met up with my friend and her husband. Instead of going out to eat like we normally do, we went for a hike along the beach and on this hill that we have titled THE BOOTY BUSTER HILL! Just imagine a steep paved road going up hill for almost a half a mile. Once you reach the top there are trails you can take. The area is called Torrey Pines State Beach. We chose the trail that lead us along the hillside and down to the beach. The point of the story is that my boyfriend and I used to walk this hill a lot last year. I would always have certain spots I needed to stop at to catch my breath. Before we met up with my friends he asked me if I would be able to do this hill since we had not done it in a while. He wasn't completely doubting me but I think he didn't want me to embarrass myself in front of my friends if I had to stop. They are runners and pretty fit. I just blew off what he said b/c I knew I could physically do it now. So not only did I pass the first stopping point... I PASSED THEM ALL! Take that stupid hill! I am in so much greater of shape and doing cardio more has totally paid off. Everyone told me how amazed they were that I could keep up. It made me feel pretty damn good.
Here is a photo of us at the top of the hill!
Goals for this week: Think thin thoughts
Weight for today: 204 (Next Monday is my 6 month bandiversary. I hope to NOT be 204 then. Grrr....)
Friday, April 9, 2010
I don't get it! What is the secret?
I am always trying to stay positive with what I write or think about my journey but today for some reason it dawned on me that even though I LOVE to read other blogs, it also makes me sad. Am I doing things all wrong?
When I am reading other banding blogs I see how much weight lost and then check out when they were banded. What, down more than me and been banded months less... I don't get it!?! I am proud of them (you) in so many ways. But I am questioning why I haven't lost as much in the same amount of time. I know, I know, everyone is different. But just knowing someone can eat like a half of a cup of anything and feel full totally irritates me. I feel like I am eating like a horse. (granted I am not b/c I am banded) It is the fact I can eat a larger quantity than that and not feel full... or get hungry not too long after.
I am coming up on my 6 months in a few weeks and I keep lingering at this weight. It is pissing me off b/c I am totally trying by uping my cardio and not indulge in sweets from time to time. I eat my proteins first, I chew and chew each bite, I drink water thru the day. But yet I can still eat a fair amount. I don't log my food everyday like how I was, but I do take a mental note of how many calories I am consuming.
I honestly felt that the last fill I had would do the trick and I was on the right path. That it would be my sweet spot. It felt good for about a week, then nada - nothing - no restriction. It comes and goes, morning, noon or night... It is never consistent. A month ago I would of said that I was at my sweet spot and would of moved out my next fill. But now that I am comparing myself to other bandsters, I realize that this is not my special spot and all I have is to compare myself to the blogs I read. It could be a good thing, but today it seems like a bad thing.
I don't get it! What is the secret?
When I am reading other banding blogs I see how much weight lost and then check out when they were banded. What, down more than me and been banded months less... I don't get it!?! I am proud of them (you) in so many ways. But I am questioning why I haven't lost as much in the same amount of time. I know, I know, everyone is different. But just knowing someone can eat like a half of a cup of anything and feel full totally irritates me. I feel like I am eating like a horse. (granted I am not b/c I am banded) It is the fact I can eat a larger quantity than that and not feel full... or get hungry not too long after.
I am coming up on my 6 months in a few weeks and I keep lingering at this weight. It is pissing me off b/c I am totally trying by uping my cardio and not indulge in sweets from time to time. I eat my proteins first, I chew and chew each bite, I drink water thru the day. But yet I can still eat a fair amount. I don't log my food everyday like how I was, but I do take a mental note of how many calories I am consuming.
I honestly felt that the last fill I had would do the trick and I was on the right path. That it would be my sweet spot. It felt good for about a week, then nada - nothing - no restriction. It comes and goes, morning, noon or night... It is never consistent. A month ago I would of said that I was at my sweet spot and would of moved out my next fill. But now that I am comparing myself to other bandsters, I realize that this is not my special spot and all I have is to compare myself to the blogs I read. It could be a good thing, but today it seems like a bad thing.
I don't get it! What is the secret?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Back on Schedule
So after last week's weight-in being up at 206, this week I have faced the facts that I did gain and focused on how to fix it. Everyday I weighted myself, obsessively - yes - I know! I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. I hated the scale everyday but prayed to it just to go down. Chanting in my head when I stepped on. Each day it went down ounces and ounces... until today when it stated 203. I will take it! I know it is only one pound more than what I wanted to be back on track, but it is what it is, right? So April 5th 2010 I weight 203. Back on track I go... to keep on trucking.
Last week I did all cardio, no weights. I went to my first spin class. And it isn't as hard as it looks. But I also don't think I would of done it if I hadn't been doing a half an hour on the spin bike myself. It gave me enough courage to do it on my own. Plus going to the yoga class - even though the instructor wasn't there, it made me feel less intimidated for the next time. I think just getting over that fear of not being able to keep up or I am the biggest one in the class is ALL MENTAL. Who cares, at least you are there and doing something about it!!! Facing the demon of failure. I also realized that I am more likely to push myself if others are around. Pulling that energy from others and using it to my benefit. (It works, I swear!)
Goal for this week: Attend Yoga Class tonight!
Weight for today: 203
Last week I did all cardio, no weights. I went to my first spin class. And it isn't as hard as it looks. But I also don't think I would of done it if I hadn't been doing a half an hour on the spin bike myself. It gave me enough courage to do it on my own. Plus going to the yoga class - even though the instructor wasn't there, it made me feel less intimidated for the next time. I think just getting over that fear of not being able to keep up or I am the biggest one in the class is ALL MENTAL. Who cares, at least you are there and doing something about it!!! Facing the demon of failure. I also realized that I am more likely to push myself if others are around. Pulling that energy from others and using it to my benefit. (It works, I swear!)
Goal for this week: Attend Yoga Class tonight!
Weight for today: 203
Friday, April 2, 2010
My 1st Spin Class
The sight of my bikini photo in my blog lead me to this!
I have been mentally preparing for this for awhile now. I finally got enough courage to go to a Spin Bike class at the gym last night. I wasn't really nervous, I just questioned if I could keep up. In fact, not only did I keep up but when the thinner people in my class were tired and they stopped - I just kept following the instructor. I took the bike that was right in front of the instructor so I could pay attention the whole time. And mimic what she was doing. Granted out of the two Spin instructors at the gym, her class isn't always as full as the other class. I think it is because she doesn't push as hard. She is more of the beginner class. Perfect for me until I get the hang of things with my form and seat placement.
So glad I did it. Next time will only be easier.
(As a side note: I finally went to the Yoga class. But the instructor didn't show up on Tuesday when I went. So lame, didn't even call to cancel the class either. I was bummed. Maybe next week I can go to the Monday class.)
Monday, March 29, 2010
What is UP... I am!?!
Hold up, Hold up, wait a minute.... Did my scale really say 206 this morning! It must be broken or something is off. Is it the full moon? I am so upset. I do know our weight fluctuates from day to day but damn THAT MUCH! I am suppose to be going down not up. I for sure have to weigh myself again tomorrow just to make sure I am not tripping out. I even weighted myself two times this morning. Both stated 206. So sad.
I made it into the bikini!
(I really don't want to post this but I told myself I had too)
Girls weekend was fun. We laid at the pool and got some well needed sunshine. Gabbed and caught up with one another. We didn't eat too bad aside from sharing two desserts after dinner on Saturday night. One of my friends is doing NutriSystem and wants to stay on track as well. So we didn't go crazy with what we ate. Small sandwiches with fruit and veggies for lunch both days... then for dinner I had shrimp bisque, 6oz steak and a few sides. Nothing crazy. We also did a 4 mile brisk walk on Sunday morning before heading home.
As an update on how my body is changing... The hair loss, It has stopped falling out about a few weeks ago. Now the texture is starting to return to normal. I am so happy about this. It made me feel really self conscious about having hair all over the place. The new downer about losing weight is the firmness in my chest has gone down. Now the breasts don't choke me when I lay down on my back - they just drop to the sides. Think of deflated balloons. AHH! They have shrunk so much that the skin hasn't. Nothing that a great bra won't fix but still makes me feel kinda old.
I went shopping for some new clothes. I got two pairs of shorts. size 15 juniors and size 14W in adults. I also got two summer dresses. I know I can't fit into all of size 14 clothes since none of the pants fit that I had tried on. But I know in due time that will come.... now I shall curse the damn scale until it goes back down to where I want it to be.
Goal for this week: See if my scale is broken by weighing myself everyday this week
Weight for today: 206 (Argh Did I really put that!)
I made it into the bikini!
(I really don't want to post this but I told myself I had too)
Girls weekend was fun. We laid at the pool and got some well needed sunshine. Gabbed and caught up with one another. We didn't eat too bad aside from sharing two desserts after dinner on Saturday night. One of my friends is doing NutriSystem and wants to stay on track as well. So we didn't go crazy with what we ate. Small sandwiches with fruit and veggies for lunch both days... then for dinner I had shrimp bisque, 6oz steak and a few sides. Nothing crazy. We also did a 4 mile brisk walk on Sunday morning before heading home.
As an update on how my body is changing... The hair loss, It has stopped falling out about a few weeks ago. Now the texture is starting to return to normal. I am so happy about this. It made me feel really self conscious about having hair all over the place. The new downer about losing weight is the firmness in my chest has gone down. Now the breasts don't choke me when I lay down on my back - they just drop to the sides. Think of deflated balloons. AHH! They have shrunk so much that the skin hasn't. Nothing that a great bra won't fix but still makes me feel kinda old.
I went shopping for some new clothes. I got two pairs of shorts. size 15 juniors and size 14W in adults. I also got two summer dresses. I know I can't fit into all of size 14 clothes since none of the pants fit that I had tried on. But I know in due time that will come.... now I shall curse the damn scale until it goes back down to where I want it to be.
Goal for this week: See if my scale is broken by weighing myself everyday this week
Weight for today: 206 (Argh Did I really put that!)
Monday, March 22, 2010
Keep on Truckin'
I really want to be down before I have my girls weekend coming this weekend! The scale went up a few ounces this morning when I weighted in. (why does it know - damn scale) Not too bad, but not in the direction I would like it to go. Think I will weigh myself everyday this week so I can obsess about it until I leave. ha ha ha I plan to wear my bikini that I have hanging up for motivation. No tankini!
My company just had lunch for 2 people's birthday... pizza and cake. I just sat there and didn't eat anything. Just went for conversation. I think I resisted because it wasn't pizza I like. Works in my favor... and more motivation b/c I want to get down to the Onederland I have missed so very much. Did I tell you that the best pizza place opened 3 doors down from my work!?! The same pizza place I had my "farewell meal" before I was banded. I smell pizza anytime I leave my work. Must resist!
Goals for this week: Onederland!
Weight for today: 202
My company just had lunch for 2 people's birthday... pizza and cake. I just sat there and didn't eat anything. Just went for conversation. I think I resisted because it wasn't pizza I like. Works in my favor... and more motivation b/c I want to get down to the Onederland I have missed so very much. Did I tell you that the best pizza place opened 3 doors down from my work!?! The same pizza place I had my "farewell meal" before I was banded. I smell pizza anytime I leave my work. Must resist!
Goals for this week: Onederland!
Weight for today: 202
Friday, March 19, 2010
True 5 month mark
Today is the official 5 month marker even though I titled my Monday post with the same title... It is the 19th of each month. I wasn't planning on posting today but I figured I would do an extra weigh it just to really be able to have an accurate count.
I stood on the scale this morning just praying and saying in my head "203, 203" which would put me down 1 whole pound from Monday. But when the scale beeped and it was displaying the number 202.2 I was shocked. Whoo hoo... So much closer to Onederland! Granted I am not there yet but just overall excited to be down after my fill last week.
I set a mini goal to be 199 in a few weeks when I go do a girl's weekend with my two old college roommates. I have 1 week!
It's on, fellas!
Fingers crossed XXXX
I stood on the scale this morning just praying and saying in my head "203, 203" which would put me down 1 whole pound from Monday. But when the scale beeped and it was displaying the number 202.2 I was shocked. Whoo hoo... So much closer to Onederland! Granted I am not there yet but just overall excited to be down after my fill last week.
I set a mini goal to be 199 in a few weeks when I go do a girl's weekend with my two old college roommates. I have 1 week!
It's on, fellas!
Fingers crossed XXXX
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thank you to my Band!
Without the band I wouldn't of been able to....
- run one mile
- get rid of high blood pressure
- have the confidence in how I look
- wear a tank top at the gym
- wear stretch pants at the gym
- have thinner toes
- get out of my car without struggling
- smile more
- be able to resist food cravings
- one chin, not two
- fit into 16 jeans
- weight what I did when I was 24
- have muscles and tone
- resist french fries and a burger
- not have soda for 6 months +
- be able to be hugged with arms all the way around me
- no more shelf ass
- wear a size 7 ring
- see my waist
- wear bracelets
- feel like I am not 3x's as big as my boyfriend
- have family proud of me instead of nagging
- like going to the gym
- rid myself of swollen ankles
- have smaller boobs
- to be able to keep driving past my old food places instead of stopping
- pay attention to hunger
- be able to ride a spin bike
- have more room in my closet
- want to be a better person instead of settling
- know things in life are possible if I work at it
- walk without panting
- to drink after my meal, not after each bite
- know I don't have to finish my plate
- run one mile
- get rid of high blood pressure
- have the confidence in how I look
- wear a tank top at the gym
- wear stretch pants at the gym
- have thinner toes
- get out of my car without struggling
- smile more
- be able to resist food cravings
- one chin, not two
- fit into 16 jeans
- weight what I did when I was 24
- have muscles and tone
- resist french fries and a burger
- not have soda for 6 months +
- be able to be hugged with arms all the way around me
- no more shelf ass
- wear a size 7 ring
- see my waist
- wear bracelets
- feel like I am not 3x's as big as my boyfriend
- have family proud of me instead of nagging
- like going to the gym
- rid myself of swollen ankles
- have smaller boobs
- to be able to keep driving past my old food places instead of stopping
- pay attention to hunger
- be able to ride a spin bike
- have more room in my closet
- want to be a better person instead of settling
- know things in life are possible if I work at it
- walk without panting
- to drink after my meal, not after each bite
- know I don't have to finish my plate
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