It is hard to be strong everyday and every second. Sometimes I fail but others I am strong willed and determined. The last week has been 'blah' and unhealthy. I don't know why I fall back into these patterns and old habits. I thought I lost them in the dust!
I know I am stressed with life and with work. There are so many things I have to be accountable for and all I want to do is go to sleep to hide from them. I wish I had the motivation every day to loose this excess weight and mind frame. It is keepin' me in a place where I am not happy. You would think setting a goal or having a special occasion coming soon would kick me into gear. Nope!
I do feel a lot of pressure to continue to be successful with my weight loss. I made such a huge difference with 30 pounds right away. I felt like being banded was my key to success. And the only key I needed. This I have learned is not the only key I need. There is a whole custodian key ring full of damn keys I need!
Once that first bit of weight comes off you expect it to keep falling off at that same pace and ease. Then you hit a wall. You either keep changing and move forward or you get stuck hanging with the 2-0-0-buddy. Yep I am back up to 200.5 today. I know that it is because of how I ate this past week. I honestly didn't care so much when I was eating those unhealthy things. I just ate in that zone and focused on what I was eating. The joy I had from it, but then the guilt following it. A vicious cycle.
List of sh*ty foods I ate:
Cheeseburger
Fries
Chocolate shake
Milano cookies
Bread
Mashed Potatoes
Nachos
Pound Cake
M&M's
Dinner Roll
Bagel with Cream Cheese
Vodka/Sprite
French Toast
Real Thick sliced Bacon
And that is only last week! Carbs, Carbs, Carbs! Not good!
Goal for this week: Everyday is a new start. Make good choices for long term not short term.
Weight for today: 200.5
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