I haven't been a stress eater since I have been banded. I have avoided the Jack In The Box runs for a cheese burger and fries. Damn, I used to eat a lot of that. It was my default - my way to escape.
Well yesterday I fell right back into it. I have been really stressed with work. I have been behind and just barely treading water. I haven't been this behind since I have been at this job, I didn't know how to handle it... except for a Wendy's burger stop on the way to the gym after work! Talk about being completely out of my mind...
1. For wanting a burger
2. For getting it on the way to the gym
3. For talking myself into it being okay as long as I just got a burger instead of adding fries!
WHAT THE HELL! I felt in this zone and totally wanting to devour the whole thing in seconds. Just to rid myself of it quickly - knowing it was so wrong! I started to eat the damn thing and I just couldn't even swallow... I was so tight! I chewed and chewed just so I could get it down to feel that satisfaction and power. But I just couldn't. I didn't even eat half of it.
Talk about Karma! My band was pissed that I was even trying to do this to myself! The tightness hurt so much. I have never felt that before.
So I wrapped up the remaining burger and put it back into the bag. I ended up eating a few bites after the gym when I got home.
Argh, so discussed with myself.(shake of head in shame)
The burger won this battle!
To make you feel better, I will share with you my own Jack in the Box (also known as Crack in the box at my house) moment.
ReplyDeleteI love their curly fries. I cannot resist them. I was out the other night shopping and was starving. I could have done the right thing, ordered a burger, and eaten just the meat part (and less than a 1/2 cup like we're supposed to) but I did not. I ordered a small curly fries and drove on. About a quarter of the way through I thought to myself, "hmmmm, I should probably stop eating these because it doesn't feel quite right in there." Did I stop? Nope. And there I was driving down the road with my face half in the Jack in the Box bag PBing my beloved french fries.
When I was done, I ate another fry. And the whole process repeated itself. So I had to THROW THE FRENCH FRIES OUT THE WINDOW.
It was the only way.
You are not alone!! ;)
You so did not let that burger win...you drove in and you only ate part of it. I am lucky and unlucky in that burgers make me barf now. I have overcome the urge to do the drive up because of the barfing but as a result I cannot have a burger and I Miss them. You get to have part of one and I think that is more than OK and that burger did not win...You controlled it.
ReplyDeleteTina
Stupid burger and stupid work stress! Don't be so hard on yourself. You need to remember that you are only human and that you may fall back into the habits; however you have come so far that you know better for the most part. Most of the time you will be able to ignore those feelings and when you have those moments where you just can't ignore them anymore - think about how much less you are eating! I mean you didn't even finish the burger and you didn't get the fries - that's progress!
ReplyDeleteThe mental aspect of stress eating is something that takes a lot of time to work on. You are doing great! <3