What is UP... I am!?!

Hold up, Hold up, wait a minute.... Did my scale really say 206 this morning! It must be broken or something is off. Is it the full moon? I am so upset. I do know our weight fluctuates from day to day but damn THAT MUCH! I am suppose to be going down not up. I for sure have to weigh myself again tomorrow just to make sure I am not tripping out. I even weighted myself two times this morning. Both stated 206. So sad.

I made it into the bikini!

(I really don't want to post this but I told myself I had too)

Girls weekend was fun. We laid at the pool and got some well needed sunshine. Gabbed and caught up with one another. We didn't eat too bad aside from sharing two desserts after dinner on Saturday night. One of my friends is doing NutriSystem and wants to stay on track as well. So we didn't go crazy with what we ate. Small sandwiches with fruit and veggies for lunch both days... then for dinner I had shrimp bisque, 6oz steak and a few sides. Nothing crazy. We also did a 4 mile brisk walk on Sunday morning before heading home.

As an update on how my body is changing... The hair loss, It has stopped falling out about a few weeks ago. Now the texture is starting to return to normal. I am so happy about this. It made me feel really self conscious about having hair all over the place. The new downer about losing weight is the firmness in my chest has gone down. Now the breasts don't choke me when I lay down on my back - they just drop to the sides. Think of deflated balloons. AHH! They have shrunk so much that the skin hasn't. Nothing that a great bra won't fix but still makes me feel kinda old.

I went shopping for some new clothes. I got two pairs of shorts. size 15 juniors and size 14W in adults. I also got two summer dresses. I know I can't fit into all of size 14 clothes since none of the pants fit that I had tried on. But I know in due time that will come.... now I shall curse the damn scale until it goes back down to where I want it to be.

Goal for this week: See if my scale is broken by weighing myself everyday this week

Weight for today: 206 (Argh Did I really put that!)

Keep on Truckin'

I really want to be down before I have my girls weekend coming this weekend! The scale went up a few ounces this morning when I weighted in. (why does it know - damn scale) Not too bad, but not in the direction I would like it to go. Think I will weigh myself everyday this week so I can obsess about it until I leave. ha ha ha I plan to wear my bikini that I have hanging up for motivation. No tankini!

My company just had lunch for 2 people's birthday... pizza and cake. I just sat there and didn't eat anything. Just went for conversation. I think I resisted because it wasn't pizza I like. Works in my favor... and more motivation b/c I want to get down to the Onederland I have missed so very much. Did I tell you that the best pizza place opened 3 doors down from my work!?! The same pizza place I had my "farewell meal" before I was banded. I smell pizza anytime I leave my work. Must resist!

Goals for this week: Onederland!

Weight for today: 202

True 5 month mark

Today is the official 5 month marker even though I titled my Monday post with the same title... It is the 19th of each month. I wasn't planning on posting today but I figured I would do an extra weigh it just to really be able to have an accurate count.

I stood on the scale this morning just praying and saying in my head "203, 203" which would put me down 1 whole pound from Monday. But when the scale beeped and it was displaying the number 202.2 I was shocked. Whoo hoo... So much closer to Onederland! Granted I am not there yet but just overall excited to be down after my fill last week.

I set a mini goal to be 199 in a few weeks when I go do a girl's weekend with my two old college roommates. I have 1 week!

It's on, fellas!

Fingers crossed XXXX

Thank you to my Band!

Without the band I wouldn't of been able to....

- run one mile
- get rid of high blood pressure
- have the confidence in how I look
- wear a tank top at the gym
- wear stretch pants at the gym
- have thinner toes
- get out of my car without struggling
- smile more
- be able to resist food cravings
- one chin, not two
- fit into 16 jeans
- weight what I did when I was 24
- have muscles and tone
- resist french fries and a burger
- not have soda for 6 months +
- be able to be hugged with arms all the way around me
- no more shelf ass
- wear a size 7 ring
- see my waist
- wear bracelets
- feel like I am not 3x's as big as my boyfriend
- have family proud of me instead of nagging
- like going to the gym
- rid myself of swollen ankles
- have smaller boobs
- to be able to keep driving past my old food places instead of stopping
- pay attention to hunger
- be able to ride a spin bike
- have more room in my closet
- want to be a better person instead of settling
- know things in life are possible if I work at it
- walk without panting
- to drink after my meal, not after each bite
- know I don't have to finish my plate

Month Five

This week I am out 5 months from my Banded date. How time flies!

Who is that girl in the mirror? Yeah, I was totally checking myself out in the mirror at the gym yesterday... wondering who was staring back at me. I felt like one of those conceited girls who check themselves out in public places. I really notice the difference in my body at random times but not everyday. Sometimes I feel like I look the same but then there are times when I just say Wow!

I didn't remember what my measurements were when I first had surgery. So I asked for them when I saw my surgeon last week. I just now got to finding the measure tape since I was nervous to even take them. I didn't want to disappoint myself. Silly huh? So I just started out with one, my hips.... I lost 7 inches! That is for sure some motivation.

I am trying to steer clear of sweets... fight the demon inside.... I guess the next time I get a sweet tooth I should reach for a piece of fruit instead of chocolate or ice cream. I threw away the candy bar I had at work, replaced it with beef jerky. It is all a learning curve right. If we did everything to the book our whole lives we would all be thin from birth on thru. So with that said... 1 week from my last fill and down 1 pound. Not too shabby, I will take it.

Keep up the good work everyone!

Goals for this week: Get out after work, The time has changed for our cardio benefit ladies!

Weight for today: 204

Sweet Tooth

Weighted in this morning at 205, Still hanging out at this number. Which seems right based upon how I have been eating the past few weeks. I have been eating out more which means higher calorie foods. I still stay within reason of my portions but just eating out in general is not good for weight loss.

I have developed a sweet tooth too! I haven't really had that as an adult but after surgery I tend to want ice cream or chocolate. At first I thought it was mental and me just hanging onto old habits. But it wasn't really a habit I had prior. I asked my surgeon about it and they stated it is your body wanting to hold onto fat during your weight loss process. (DING!) Totally true since your body wants to hold onto the fat as a survival tool but it is screaming it wants sweets to get that same fat intake. So now when I am having that craving I have be not give in and fight against what my body is asking for. (Bad Sweets, Bad!)

Also one thing that I was concerned about is my menstrual cycle. It has not been regular and coming each month. I was hoping that once I lost some weight it would return to normal but it has not. This is b/c my body is adjusting with the amount of fat and estrogen levels. I hope to soon get it. It makes me feel like my body is functioning correctly and healthy. Even though I get emotional and break out - I haven't actually had my period. This was odd to me. Any time I have questions like that I just ask my surgeon and they remind me why.

I did get a fill today too. I am almost to my 5 month mark! He was super aggressive with the amount and put in 2cc's. So now I have 8 total. I am hoping that this will be my sweet spot and will help me get back to losing some more weight and recharge me.(Go Restriction!)

Goals for this week: Throw away that chocolate bar at home!

Weight for today: 205

Movin' & Shakin'

I have been working out of town for the past three days. Which means I haven't weighted myself. I think it is best I haven't weighted myself yet since I skipped a day at the gym and ate big dinners since I left for my work trip. The perk of working for hotels and restaurants is you don't pay when you travel for work... I ate pot roast and steak. Both proteins but I just felt I ate too much in quantity... then add a mini brownie sundae and a glass of wine... ha ha ha! I am hoping all the walking and standing all day burned lots of calories to make up for some of that. I don't feel I ate to much thru the day it was just the larger meals for dinner I feel kinda bad about. I didn't eat breakfast since I had a mocha each morning.

One thing I did notice was my endurance to keep up thru the day, climb the stairs and just physically move around. It is so much easier to do that. Imagine me running around a hotel, carrying props, multiple floors & rooms, setting up scenes, pointing and directing photographers for this shoot I was in charge of. I didn't stop! I wore them out before I did myself. Then after working with them all day I had to go to my laptop and catch up on my regular design work load. It is great to be given this project but is was like being an on-call designer 24/7 for 3 whole days. Hoping to of burned lots of calories!

Goal for this week: Get a day of cardio to replace the day I missed

Weight for today: (You will have to wait till next Monday)