Daydreaming...

Ever since I have made my surgery date official... I keep day dreaming. Of what you ask? Aww... I am dreaming of the complements I will get from those who can tell I have lost some weight, To prove to those who have doubted me that I can do this, To be just like all the other women's blogs I keep reading (additively) about, to look in the mirror an be able to tell a difference with each passing week and know I made the right choice. There are so many things I am looking forward to that I keep dreaming of. It is even preventing me from getting some serious projects done at work. Shhh, don't tell my boss. :-)

It feels like I am standing on a cliff. And right before you jump into the water, your life should flash before you... but instead I see what lies ahead. Knees are a little wobbly but I know once I dive in - it will all be worth it!

Thank you to all the women who have put their story out there. I have read so many blogs this past week. Knowing that there are people out there that are going thru the same thing as I am, makes this whole process more comforting. I don't know anyone who has had a band or bypass. And now reading tons of blogs I feel like I know those who I read about now. Thanks Ladies!

I can't wait any more... 24 days away and it seems like forever!

29 Days....

After finding out that my insurance approved me for surgery I got excited then scared... the day I have been waiting for is finally here. Should I still go thru with it? Should I just go on a really strict diet? What was I thinking... the opportunity that I have been given is right in front of me!.. But I didn't make the surgery date just yet...

I wanted to go to the hosted introductory/group meeting that Dr. Wittgrove held this past Saturday. I asked my boyfriend to go with me, and I am so thankful he went. It helped him understand more about what it is and why it would help me. Just listening to Dr. Wittgrove and a testimonial by a previous patient of his, made me realize I am doing the right thing. So I called into their office first thing this morning and made an official date... Monday October 19th is the procedure date. 29 days from this very day.

The Friday before, I have to go in all day for a physical exam, which I have to fast for. Not sure what will occur on that date. I do know I have to pay my deductible, purchase my vitamins and protein shakes then. Plus that night prior will probably be the last time I will eat a solid food for the next month. I think out of this whole thing that will be the hardest to deal with. But with having the procedure done in October, I get a whole month before the holidays arrive.

About Banding and Why I am Here

This is the second time of going thru the process of surgical banding. The first time was about one year ago thru another Scripps Clinic. It was the Scripps Clinic of Weight Management in Del Mar. A great group of nurses and doctors that i got to know pretty well after 3 years of attending their clinic. It was such a struggle then because my insurance at the last minute stated I wasn't covered. It was such a let down and made me not want to try again.

Well here I am again and now going thru a new clinic called the Wittgrove Bariatric Center in La Jolla. The center is run by Dr. Allen Wittgrove. His qualifications make me feel comfortable going to this center. On the his website it states :

"Dr. Wittgrove pioneered the laparoscopic approach of gastric bypass surgery, performing the first laparoscopic gastric bypass as primary surgeon in the world, in 1993. He and his program have performed over five-thousand bariatric procedures."

At this clinic they use the Realize band. Another brand similar to "Lapband". Here are some facts that are on the www.realize.com website.

• The REALIZE™ Injection Port has the lowest profile of any injection port to minimize its appearance under the skin, even as you lose weight.

• The REALIZE Band offers a high-volume, low-pressure balloon. It’s designed to reduce the potential for tissue trauma.

• As the widest band available (23mm), the REALIZE Band is designed to decrease the potential for band slippage.

• No adjustable gastric band has a lower leak rate than the REALIZE Band.

• Patients receiving a REALIZE Band may experience less pain and less time under anesthesia than patients receiving gastric bands with sutured ports.

Not only knowing about the actual product - knowing the doctor and staff is the best way to be comfortable. Learning about what the band really does for you - as I hope for it to be a great TOOL in helping my life become healthy.

Right now, I have high blood pressure and i have not menstruated in almost 5 to 6 months. I went off of my birth control to help me loose some weight.(Mmmm, yeah, I stayed the same.) I really want to be healthy and gain my life back. To be the person who I have always dreamed of being. If I don't start now - it is going to keep haunting me and effecting what i really want in life.

I don't want to get any bigger.
I don't want to be a fat bride.
I want to have a period.
I want to be able to have babies.
I want to feel in control of my eating.
I want to feel comfortable and maybe even get a sexy complement. (wink)
I want to be able to paint my own toes.
To not struggle getting up or out of the car.
To be able to buy a bra from Victoria Secret - that would be cool.
Oh, to shop at any store instead of plus sized.
To be able to have my family complement me instead of noticing how much bigger I am.
To lay down and not feel like my boobs are gonna be the death of me.

Wholly Crap!

I told myself that I would start a blog to show my progress with my weight loss. I never thought I would be starting the day i got THE CALL!

I just got a call from my doctor's office stating that my insurance has approved for my gastric banding! So much is running thru my head. I feel like crying. The day that i never thought would come - is really here. It is surreal.

The nurse stated I could schedule an appointment as soon as two weeks. Oh my gosh, my life could change that soon. I know I have to wait a few paychecks to be able to get enough for my deductible due at the time of my physical. I never thought they would approve it so quickly - if not i would of started to save for it a while ago.

It is really time - time to change and face my fears... surgery... healthy habits... happiness about my weight and how i look. The out come is only good but why am I so scared?