New Chapter

Today I am offically removed from the Revision program through Kaiser. I feel sad but relieved at the same time. I just know that mentally having a bypass done, well I’m just not right in my mind for it. Not that I don’t want / need to loose weight because you know I do BUT I am truly afraid of going from throwing up with a lapband to dumping with a bypass. I just feel like right now my body and mind need time. And yes, I did cry about it. Many times in fact.

Today also is my first day of trying something new. A day by day program of using TruVision system. It sounds super simple of 2 pills twice a day. It is supposed to give me energy and curve my eating/cravings. I just need that little boost to get going. I believe in my heart it’s the right time for all of these choices.

In addition to dropping out of the revision program, I’m on a waiting list for a series of nutrition classes. I guess that it has become a popular class therefore it has a waiting list of 2-3 months. From the description it may be something very useful to do. Risk my comfort zone level. Eak!

Has anyone ever heard of Fatty Liver? Welp, my surgeon mentioned after my surgery that my liver seemed large. So I asked my primary care doctor to re-read my bloodwork and past tests to see if something was wrong. In my trip to the ER before there was a notation on my MRI that I may have possible fatty liver. Yeah thanks fuckers for not telling me. So with me persuing info about my own body to the doctor I now have to look into this issue. An ultrasound , fatty liver scan and a 2 hour fatty liver class. Now are on my calendar.

Please lord, help me as I need to loose this weight so it doesn’t turn into anything else.

2 Weeks Post Op

I am now 2 weeks post op and I’m getting back to normal life. The first week is very clear you should take it easy with light walking. I’m so thankful for my mom and husband who helped with the kids. I couldn’t even pick up our youngest. I think she was mad at me all week. The second week I had no help. It was a good thing though as I needed to move my body, get use to my core muscles and eating solid foods.

So far my cuts have healed very quickly compared to stitches. I have some glue coming off each day. Two smaller insisions are now glue-less. The two biggest things I notice is where the top of my stomach is, there is not lapband so it is no longer firm under my rib cage. I never noticed it but now it’s gone I can not feel it’s tightness. The second thing is I can not rush eating or eat larger portions. I’m thankful for this. Even though there is no band I feel full with smaller amounts & if I swallow to large of food I feel a light pain. I guess when your body is in a constructed form it will take awhile to ‘feel normal’


 Life is moving on...

I’m going to with drawl from the revision program. I’m just not mentally ready to do gastric bypass. I feel as if I’d go from lapband life of throwing up to bypass life of dumping. I just want to be healthy with mind and body. The surgery did scare me so I’m just not ready to continue with a revision.

Weight today : 219