Trying for Results

I spun my ass away this week! I went twice to two spin classes. I was so burnt out after the second class. I went to one on Tuesday which is the one I usually go to. Lately it is with an instructor who I am not to fond of her instruction and how little she pushes her class. Then Wednesday.... I did tell you I was going to finally go to my coworkers' Spin class since she teaches it at the gym near work. I went and she is a little spit fire. She totally raises her voice, listens to fast pace music and takes very little breaks. The endurance in the class is amazing. I loved it. it kicked my ass but I loved it. I sweat so much I was dripping. She told me about a few of her repeat class members that all excel and train professionally for marathons, swim races, triathlons ... some of the women have accomplished a lot of great things in their fitness life. The girl who I sat next to on the bike swam 8 levels in a particular swim race recently and BEAT all the men in the race and placed first! AMAZING! Well guess who kept up with her pace.... ME! I kicked ass in the class and didn't look as if I was suffering like some of the other so-called fit girls. Talk about being motivated from my last post. Whoo hoo Yey me!


I notice a lot of blogs mention their doctors and I was curious how they chose them.  I chose my surgeon because he had a website about his clinic at a well know hospital. Honestly YES I DID!  Plus my insurance had listed him as an option. He is known as the father of laparoscopic gastric bypass: he performed the first laparoscopic gastric bypass in the world as primary surgeon in 1993. This was performed right here in San Diego, California. He is a great doctor and is very helpful.  I just wish he had been more aggressive with my fills, he is mainly a bypass surgeon and very little patients with gastric banding. Maybe that is why he was less aggressive with the fills. I think if I had this restriction sooner, my weight loss would of been more my first year. I am not blaming him at all - I just think being on the same level as the doctor is a must. So looking back and advise for future bandsters is that they need to do the research on the doctor and make sure their skills match your new planned life. This doctor will be your best friend for the following years, not just your surgeon on surgery day. Choose wisely. Do research on the doctor. Find a recommendation. Shop around.


I know I haven't been perfect everyday with what I eat but since my last post I have been REALLY trying to eat less thru the day and stopping myself from bringing more than what I need to eat to work with me. If I bring it - I will eat it. Trying to get away from eating less and making it thru the day. I have been drinking protein waters again in the afternoons. It has given me that little boost to not feel so starved before dinner. If I feel way hungry for dinner I end up eating too much and having a hard time sleeping since I ate too much. The food just sits in my stomach and it is hard for me to sleep after I eat. I am just reminding myself that we all did a whole month of liquids and we were fine - I can do better since I did that before.


I have to be accountable for my journey!
I can not push blame onto the band for the lack of weight loss!
I have to work with the band and eat less and drink more water!


I haven't weighted myself since Monday so maybe next week's main post I will see a little reward on the scale. Fingers crossed. 

Lets Get Motivated

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks. - Johann Gottfried Von Herder

Spinning: I have gone back to spin class at least once each week for the last few weeks. It feels so good to burn all of those calories! I didn't realize at a moderate pace you can burn 300-600 calories.   Even thought it wasn't my favorite instructor last week... She does a lot of going back and forth of standing and sitting which hurts my knees. I guess she thinks her class will get bored with longer cycles. Not too sure. Well I shared my frustrations about this instructor with my coworker who also teaches Spin class, she has suggested I go to her class this week. She teaches at a different gym a few times a week. So now I can't get out of it because I have pushed the invite off every single time she wants me to go. I know the class will be great since she is always doing her own music mixes each week - she never has a repeat class. I also hear a lot of positive feed back from her class. She absolutely loves teaching spin. I never work out in front of coworkers so I hope I kick ass as much as she thinks I will. This means I will have to do 2 Spin classes this week and I will forever compare her awesomeness of a spin class to the ones at my gym. Spin will never be the same! Let's go motivation!


Running: I have never been really big on running. I am more of a fast jogger. I also envy those who can run a long distance. Since I haven't been on the treadmill for awhile I went on it and 'tried' to run. My lungs were so tight. I felt so weak but I kept on pushing myself. I wanted to catch up with my boyfriend who was running next to me. I kept checking his distance and ran full speed to get to the same distance. I ended up 1/10 th of a mile behind him. I can easily do 1 mile within 20 minutes of warm up. I guess I have to get back to my Couch to 5k workout. Let's go motivation!


Restriction: I am still feeling restricted after a week. It feels really good to know it is tight again. I just have to be careful about what I am consuming. I have been reading that a lot of people when they loose restriction they tend to make unhealthy food choices since they know it will easily pass thru. Our minds are so wrapped around cheating the band when this happens. I know I do this as well. Like it is okay to still eat it since I know it will be pass. But for me, I have not PB'd before so I need to get away from thinking that the little extra room is linked to bad choices. I have to eat good no matter what, right? The Protein shakes I purchased at Costco the other week and also blogged about have really came in handy. I know it is a liquid that will pass thru but it really keeps me full. It has 30 grams of protein per container and very little sugar. I have drank it a few times when I am really hungry and end up eating a lot less later in the day. Let's go motivation!


I have been on a bean kick too. Gotta get all that protein! Try my 3 Bean salad. It will be great to get you thru the work week. Make it at the beginning of the week and have a bit each day since it makes a large amount.


AM's 3 Bean Salad

1 can of Garbonzo Beans (water no oil)

1 can of Black Eyed Peas (water no oil)

1 can of Pinto Beans (water no oil)

1/2 cup of Red Vinegrette Dressing

parsley chopped (1/2 cup) or dried (1/3 cup)

salt and pepper to taste

garlic powder - few shakes

mix together

Goal for this week: Kick ass in Spin

Weight for today: 198 lbs.

A few little NSV to list

1. My butt fit into the seat for the roller coaster I went on this past weekend. I had so much room that my butt was moving back and forth - even up and down. I screamed like a big baby!

2. My size 14 jeans are getting a little baggy in the butt. My 16s I can't wear anymore. My muffin top in the jeans is definitely going away.

3. I have this Moroccan style shirt that I got a Banana Republic before surgery. It is now so big that the length of it goes way over my butt and isn't tight in the boobs or waist. Might not be able to wear it unless I get it hemmed. 

4. My comfy black cotton dress which was my default dress to 'look nice but cozy' in.... no longer fits. It is the most comfortable dress - its like pajamas. It use to hit right above my knee - now it hangs on me and hits mid shin. I am drowning in it. 

5. I went to a party this weekend and I got so many complements on how I looked, what I was wearing and how nice my hair looked. Everyone had something nice to say. It is such an odd feeling just to say "thank you" without having to explain or deny the complement.

6. I only ate two pieces of Halloween candy and didn't want any more.

7. When I was a child my grandmother gave me jewelry as gifts growing up. I haven't worn any of it maybe since high school since none of it fit as I got older. I am wearing one of the rings today. 

8. There was a heavy set woman in front of my in line for a ride, we had to squeeze in between a thinner area and between decorations, she barely fit... and I walked thru with no problem - not even touching the sides or having to walk thru sideways. It is amazing to realize the perspective we have as fat versus thin(ner).

9. I am almost done paying off a credit card since I have more money instead of spending it on food everyday. Its a big deal to not have any pending credit built up.

10. Since my fill last week - I actually feel full thru the whole day. Maybe this is my special spot I have been longing for? I am very much enjoying it. It feels like a sense of power and control.

Goal for this week: I missed the spin classes last week - so I have to go this week for sure.

Weight for today: 198

30grams of Protein

Yep you read that right! On a quest to rid my habit of Starbucks, I went to Costco last night and purchased a few new items to help me on my new goal. They typical surplus of great things because I love Costco so much, but one I wanted to share with everyone since it is new to me.


Premier Nutrition High Protein Shakes
Nutrition Details:
1 serving is a container (11 fl. oz.)
Calories 160
Sugars 1g
Total Carb 5g
Protein 30g

Costco sells it for about $25.00 per case
Milk and Whey Protein
Serve cold

... my boss actually recommended it to me. He is loving it. I figured I would try it. So I bought a bulk box of it and today is my first try. Can you believe it has 30grams of protein in one container! That is one serving of 30grams.Wholly Protein! That is amazing. It even tastes great too. I am not even half way thru and I am feeling semi full. I really think that this new shake could really give me that extra push that I need to get me thru my day and down a few pounds.

Now What - 1 year and 1 week

I am officially working on year 2 now, no more 1 year mark to look forward too. I am past it and moving on with life. I have to. Today I stepped on the scale at my house and it still said 200.1. Dammit! And I got dressed and headed to the 1 year check up with my surgeon. I wasn't sure if he would be disappointed I was still in the 200s or if I would get a 'little talk' about 'rights and wrongs'. What was I thinking! My surgeon is the nicest man. He would never do such a thing. He has such grace and care with every word that comes out of his mouth. And a NP that is his partner in support. She reminds us of the day to day and motivation to keep working at the successes. Staying healthy and making the right choices, to not focus so much on the number but how I feel in my clothes. I always feel recharged after a visit with them. Granted I have got a fill every time I have been there. But it also is a little mental slap on the arse to keep working hard. When the NP weighted me I was 198! Love it!

With that said I did get a little fill since I don't feel as restricted as I did 6 weeks ago when I had my last appointment. I think it will be just what I need on this guessing game of finding the right restriction.

"Remember dense proteins and no liquid calories" he says.

In my head I am thinking, "I have to break my addiction to Starbucks since I have been going there a bit more lately. I hate how it is so close to my office." And what did I do when I got out of the appointment? Yep, I went and picked up a soy chai. EVIL it tell you just EVIL.

Here are my stats from the Tanita Body Composition Analyzer that were taken 1 year ago and today. Pretty interesting comparison.
OCT 2009 (the week before surgery)
Weight: 227.0lbs
BMI: 39.6
BMR 7518 kJ - 1797kcal
Impedance: 519
Fat %: 49.9%
Fat Mass: 113.5lbs
FFM: 113.5lbs
TBW: 83lbs

OCT 2010 (the year mark)

Weight: 198.0lbs

BMI: 35.1

BMR 6960 kJ - 1664kcal

Impedance: 451

Fat %: 42.8%

Fat Mass: 84.5lbs

FFM: 113.5lbs

TBW: 83lbs

Something that motivates you is seeing your own ass look so small. I LOOK NORMAL- WOW!

Goal for this week: Steer clear of the evil Starbucks

Weight for today: 198

1 YEAR

I have been looking forward to this post since day one. I wondered where I'd be in my life a year after gastric banding. Let's just say it's way better that I could of imagined feeling. Its taken me a few days to gather what I wanted to write.

I am here to Oct 19th 2010, and I was out of words to say. Me, speechless - It does happen. How can that be, you say when I was so anxious to get here. I can't tell you why exactly ... maybe because I am back in the 200's this week after finally getting to 198.6 after many months of struggle. I am disappointed I am not where I want to be with my weight. 25 pounds came off pretty easy - I barely had to try or think much about it. The last 5 pounds have taken like 5 months or longer. I have had multiple fills, never PB'd, been up and down in my restriction, I exercise 3-4 times a week for 2 hours each time. Not really sure how to wrap all of my feelings about the last few months of struggling loosing weight, but I can tell you is how this past year has drastically changed who I am as a girlfriend, sister, daughter and friend.

I am a happier person. I smile way more, I have emotions I never knew I would feel wit my hormone levels back on track. I am not on any medication for high blood pressure, birth control to make myself have my periods, high cholesterol, migraines are gone! I have been better with my finances. I couldn't ever figure out why I lived pay check to paycheck when I was making more money than I have in the past. I ate out for breakfast, lunch and dinner majority of the week. I was eating myself into debt. How freaking crazy is that? Now I treat myself to eating out instead of making it a habit of day to day life. I could tell you what napkin went with what restaurant at the quickest glance - because that is how much I ate out. I also hid how much I ate and where I ate. I would buy a combo meal and add additional items to it. I ate enough for 2 or 3 people - just for lunch. I could of told you who worked the night shift at the drive thru of Jack In The Box. I was killing myself inside and with my own money. I was a sad person on the inside even though there was no real reason why I should be upset. I just got used to being fat and unhealthy.

Since a year ago this week, I have come so far and my journey isn't over yet. I still have weight to loose and maintain for the rest of my life. I am banded for life. This is who I am today and beyond. I don't think I have cheated or taken the easy was with my weight loss by having a band. I don't even think if I didn't have gastric bypass instead. I knew in the beginning that banding was the way for me to go. I knew it would take longer to loose weight, but knowing that there were more benefits to it for my lifestyle - it was right for me. Sometimes I think I am crazy because I have something in my stomach placed there to help me loose weight. That people loose weight every day - but for me, it never stayed away. I would always gain it back and more. Even though my weight loss has been slow- I have maintained. I haven't given up even going to the gym. It's part of who I am today.

I am most thankful this past year because I have really experienced who my friends are and who is there for me no matter what. They may think I was crazy or didn't agree with my choice... but they have stuck with me and I am forever grateful for the support that each person has given me. My parents have been the biggest supporters in all of this - from caring for me last year in the hospital and weeks following - not forcing me to eat with them and allowing me to do my own thing without judgement. My boyfriend I am also grateful for. He has been very supportive with working out. When I am not so motivated he pushes me, he motivates me just by telling me how nice I look which makes me feel like the most beautiful person to him. He wants me to be healthy for 'us' so we can live healthy and happy together. I am still working on him about eating out less. That is a work in progress which I think once our living situation changes it will work in my favor. I have slowly started to bring meals to cook for us on the weekends to his house. I am enjoying cooking and he is enjoying eating it. So with more baby steps we will get there.

This year is the first of many to come. It seems like forever but its just the beginning. So far, I have lost 32 pounds and I am a size 14 from size 22.

I don't regret anything that has happened this past year. It was a year of self discovery. I've been searching my whole life for me and I only have seen glimpses of who I am to become. I am excited to meet this person and I know that this next year will be totally unexpected but a great one indeed.

Thank you for reading along.

Weight for today: 200.2 lbs.

Weight Loss Motivation

Just to keep up with my motivation, I Googled "weight loss motivation" for my post today. Here is what I reminded myself of today. In keeping up with my Onederland I have to keep remembering I am not out of the woods just yet. I am just barely into my 100s and if I get lazy I can be right back into the 2s. I really think spin class helped me this past week. I gotta get back into spin each week like I was before summer started. I really like it plus it makes any stress go away because you really have to push yourself. Nothing else matters when you are in that class and the instructor keeps you motivated. Just what I need... a little extra push. (or kick- which ever you would prefer).
...............


Weight Loss 101
Sometimes we start losing weight, but we never finish. We ditch another diet. We throw in the towel on our exercise efforts. Maybe it's from outside pressure; sometimes we aren't ready to lose weight. Whatever the cause, it is not at all uncommon. That doesn't mean you're destined for failure. Even if you've started and stopped 100 times before, this time doesn't have to end the same way. By putting some important skills to use, you will find it a little easier to stick to your weight loss efforts than if you rely on sheer will alone.


Skill One: Reward Yourself
One of the best ways to stay motivated throughout your weight loss journey is to reward yourself with non-food rewards that you will look forward to and enjoy. It can be something tangible (a new book) or something intangible (no less important), such as a lazy Saturday of watching movies in bed.


By marking a goal -- say, each five pound loss -- you will begin to correlate reaching your goals with a pleasurable experience. When simply seeing the scale numbers change loses its "buzz," that special treat will keep you going.


Skill Two: Track Your Progress and Portions
Whether you keep a spreadsheet on your computer or simply jot down your stats in a notebook, keeping an eye on your progress will keep you motivated. You can track your weight, measurements, or BMI -- it is up to you. By looking back at how far you've come, you're less likely to revert to old habits.


Additionally, if you keep careful records, you will be able to catch slip-ups in your calorie counting or exercise habits that, left unchecked, could cause a major plateau or weight gain.


Careful record-keeping includes closely monitoring portion sizes -- what many say is the most important long-term weight management key. Over-doing portions of even healthier foods can mean the difference between long-term weight loss success and eventual failure. Keeping a food diary is the best way to keep on top of what you're eating.


Skill Three: Master Emotional Eating
To achieve long-term weight loss success, you will have to come face-to-face with anyemotional eating habits by asking some important questions: Do you overeat when you're angry? Do you splurge on an extra serving of dessert when you're feeling frustrated?


Being honest with yourself is the only way to get the true measure of your emotional eating triggers. Without facing them, you will always be less likely to be in control of your weight.


Skill Four: Prepare for the Pushers
There will always be people who encourage you to go off your diet "just this once." That's not really a problem until "this once" becomes time and time again. If every time you see someone you go off the rails at their suggestion, it may mean you need to distance yourself or have a serious talk with about your weight loss efforts.


Peer pressure doesn't end when you get older; it's ever-present if your friends and family correlate enjoying time with you to eating with you. Plan non-food activities with loved ones and work hard to resist temptation when you're in an environment where food is part of the festivities.


Skill Five: Remember, It's About Health, Too
In a Web poll, 65% of our site's visitors said they were losing weight for appearance's sake; only 35% said they were doing it for their health. To be honest, that surprised me quite a bit, considering how great an impact weight loss has on health and overall quality of life.


The thing is, your slimmer self will become your norm. The compliments about your weight loss will die down. Once you've worn that "new and improved" size for a while, the thrill of trying on the clothes in your new wardrobe will start to fade. Shopping outside a plus size store, if you're doing so for the first time, will be exciting only for so long (or until your credit cards are maxed out). So, if you ask me, it's not all about looks.


When motivation to stick to your new eating and exercise habits wanes, and a quick glance in the mirror doesn't do the trick, considering the many health risks of obesity probably will get you going. By maintaining a healthier weight, you are more likely to live a longer life with fewer medical problems. Wearing a smaller size is just the icing on the cake; a happier, healthier life is the ultimate reward.


- about.com
.................

One of the hard parts of my journey is that I don't know anyone in person that has the band. I have the internet but no real life person. I know it isn't uncommon of a thing to be banded because friends or friends have them. But no direct friends of mine do. Do you feel as if surrounding yourself with others will help or make you compare yourself more? Cause you know me, I am always comparing my weight loss to the bloggers and getting irritated that I am not as down as they are. 

One of the great things about loosing a few pounds again is being able to take off a few more rings on my countdown chain. Any little bit helps.

Goal for this week: Spin class!

Weight for today: 198

I am back!

Results - FINALLY!

Cruise Photos

In a few weeks I hit my 1 year.... so here are some photos from the cruise as an update.

Full Shot 

(This is rare because I never wear shorts with tennis shoes)

Formal Dinner
(And no I normally don't consider Marti Gras beads as a formal attire)

 Sea Day with Dangerous Mixes

(When my family who doesn't know I had Banding done showed up pool side  - I put my shirt on to hide my 2 inch tummy scar - which is also cropped out of this photo)

 Wine Tasting (That I didn't even taste at)

The best part of the trip... ZIP LINING!

(Lucky me - the heavier you are the faster you go)

. 

Misconceptions

As I have stated before about the lack of weight loss these past months I went on a little search to find out how I can adjust my lifestyle. I don't feel like I am limited myself to what I eat. I read about eating less, drinking more thru the day, not drinking around meal times... things I am totally guilty of even if I hate to admit it. I have to take a few steps back and revert to my thoughts I had almost one year ago. I just wish I had that feeling when I first ate a bowl of soup after my month long liquid diet... I felt satisfaction - I felt full - I felt like I couldn't of ate anymore. Now today, I have just been eating way to much and not limiting myself to what goes into my mouth. I eat whatever looks good and that includes CARBS and SWEETS. I hate the fact that I finally got to 199 and now I am back up a few pounds. It took me so long to get to that number and now I have to push re-start.

One of the articles that I was reading stuck in my head and I wanted to re-post it for everyone to read. It just breaks down the simple facts and some things I have been feeling about my struggles. 

...............

"As weight loss surgery becomes an increasingly popular treatment for morbid obesity misconceptions abound. Patients who undergo gastric bypass or gastric banding surgeries are often depressed and disappointed after surgery because they believed the popular misconceptions.

Some common misconceptions about WLS: 

• Surgery brings joy and boundless energy instantaneously
• Laparoscopic surgery is painless
• WLS is an easy fix and permanent fix to obesity
• WLS guarantees happiness
• Others will support the WLS decision
• After reaching goal weight patients can go back to normal

Because patients read about the joy and boundless energy enjoyed by others after surgery they assume these feelings occur immediately. Joy is felt after massive weight loss, not after surgery. In fact, for many patients the first six weeks out of surgery are emotionally draining as they grieve for food and feel fatigued and disoriented.

We read the laparoscopic technique used for 85 percent of all WLS is minimally invasive requiring little recovery time. In truth this technique bruises the intestines, liver and ribs. The surgery is painful and recovery is not as rapid as most patients expect. Patients express feelings of failure when they are sore and exhausted from surgery.

For most patients weight loss happens quickly and easily. True to dieting tradition when patients reach goal weight they tend to go back to "normal" disregarding the high-protein low-volume diet. Weight gain results. Unless patients follow the strict WLS rules daily they regain weight.

WLS does not guarantee happiness. In fact, patients commonly describe feelings of anger, bitterness, resentment, panic and self-loathing as they lose weight. They also express happiness, satisfaction, pleasure, delight and self-love. The pendulum of emotions swings wide.

Having WLS exposes one to attacks from others who feel entitled to criticize the gluttonous sloth that could not lose weight by eating less and exercising more. Not all people, including spouses, siblings, parents and friends will support the decision for WLS.

WLS is a lifetime commitment to an extremely restrictive lifestyle that if used successfully will enable a former morbidly obese person to maintain a healthy weight and diminish the co-morbidities of obesity. It should never be considered the "easy way out" or a "quick fix." It is a lifetime commitment with no returning to normal."

...............

Oh I wish it was as easy at it sounds. But banding isn't a quick fix. We all still struggle with our life long patterns and habits. I have new habits now but some days are harder than others. I lost weight every week and then BOOM nada, zero, no movement at all. What does a girl have to do to get re-charged? Do I need to go back onto my liquid diet? Set an alarm to remind myself its been 1 hour after I last ate so I don't drink until then? What has helped you re-charge yourselves!

I think the hardest part of not continually loosing weight is that the people who do know I was banded like to monitor me way too much and it forms judgement. They ask how much weight I have lost recently? ... Why I am still the same as months ago?... Why haven't I continued to loose?.... Why don't I get it tightened?... Aren't you only able to eat a cup of food at a time?

Trust me - I am askin' myself the same damn thing, folks!

Goal for this week: -RESTART-

Weight for today: 200.0 lbs.